Where Do You Draw The Line?

A few weeks ago, I got the inkling to start drafting an essay for a major national column. I had the perfect idea and started fleshing it out in my head as I strolled around the city, worked out on the Precor, tossed and turned awaiting sleep. I knew it was perfect for this notoriously hard-to-crack column, but I also knew that publishing it would come with a price. Namely, the essay was about an incident in my life that occurred almost a decade ago. Over the course of the years, the emotions have faded and most of the scars have healed themselves, and so, dragging the incident back up - in as public a forum as you can get - might have reopened a slew of entanglements that I'd worked hard to put behind me.

But still. I knew it was perfect. And I felt tugged in two directions: one, the one that as writers we often feel, that in some ways, we're voyeurs of the every day, and it's our job to expose that as lyrically as possible; and two, as simply me, who had struggled with this incident for many years, and who knew, at least the smarter part of me knew, that publishing a piece about it would open an enormous can of emotional worms for all parties involved.

After some wrestling, I opted not to forge ahead with the essay, recognizing, of course, that this personal decision flew in the face of a professional decision. I realized that I had another fitting - though maybe not quite as perfect - subject for this same column, and while this subject, too, exposes some personal laundry, it's laundry that I can handle being in the public domain. So I sat down and started writing, so far, it's not half bad. Maybe it will get accepted to this column, maybe it won't, but either way, it was the better decision for me and those who would have been affected by the other essay's publication.

All of this is a long way of opening up the discussion on what a lot of writers deal with: how much of ourselves are we willing to not just put on the page but put out in public? I've had chats with friends who say that they'll write about the happier times in their marriages, but never the bad ones: it would be too much a violation to their husbands. Or friends who will write about their kids but not their husbands. Or their parents but not their children. I, personally, will joke about my husband's annoying habits, but I'd never write an honest expose of the ups and downs our marriage, even though ours is a happy and solid union. It's just not something that I'd ever feel comfortable with other people examining. Why should I? And why should they?

I don't know: where do you draw the line? For me, it was just instinctive this time around. I wasn't willing to restart a conflict that all parties had seemingly gotten over. Publication simply wasn't - isn't - worth that to me. But it's a sliding scale, one that we all face every day, and I guess the best you can do is listen to your internal compass and hope for the best.

Tag! You're It!

So the fabu Alexa Young meme-ed me the other day, which, if I'm to understand this young-speak (and by that I mean the youth speak, not Alexa Young-speak), means that I've been tagged. (Alexa, a YA writer, took the time to explain this to geriatric moi, who, I should note, hasn't even hit the ripe old age of 35, but I guess that's just the way it rolls these days. Sigh. I'm so over the hill, even though I swear I can tell you who all the people are on The Hills, as well as name-drop several top 40 singers. Oh well. Such is life.)

Anyway, Alexa tagged me to do the following:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. Open to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people and post a comment to the person who tagged you once you've posted your three sentences.

As it would happen, I was reading through the proof pages of Time of My Life when Alexa harked her call. So...here we go:

"Could she really have been here the whole time? I think, as I stare down at the handwriting, which is as familiar to me as my own. I'd asked my father this very question when I called to tell him about her correspondence, but he had no answers. He just hung mutely on the phone, stuttering his responses, as surprised as I was, I suppose that my mother hadn't needed a true escape; she just needed an escape from us."

And so, with that, I hereby tag the following five people!


1) Eileen Cook

2) Diana Peterfreund

3) Erin Zammett

4) Sarah Jio

5) Swishy Girl

Tag, you're it! Go!

Galley Ho!

Today, I'm over at Writer Unboxed chatting about the pre-publication galley push that's planned for Time of My Life.

Check it out!

And while you're clicking around the web, don't miss Betty Confidential. BettyConfidential.com is a content and confidential networking community website focusing on women's life stages and interests. BettyConfidential.com offers a place for women to raise their voices, be heard, and express themselves about real "day-to-day" issues in a "room full of women" atmosphere. BettyConfidential.com was co-founded by bestselling author and television commentator Deborah Perry Piscione and Internet entrepreneur Shaun Marsh in March 2008. CNN's Soledad O'Brien serves as Chairman of the Advisory Board. The fabulous Manic Mommy also writes for them, which is more than enough reason to check it out!

Great Summer Reads (By My Friends)

It's impossible for me to wrap my brain around the fact that it's already May, but, indeed, life has sped forward without pause, and now that it's May, it means...spring reading! So here are a few great picks, all of which have been written by fabu writers whom I've been fortunate enough to get to know, for book clubs, your nightstand or the beach - wherever you find a second to lose yourself in a read!

1) Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer by Jen Lancaster. If you've read either of Jen's previous memoirs, you know that she is scathingly funny and this time, she turns the spotlight on herself as she trucks to the gym and puts herself on a diet, in an attempt to slim down. Jen sent me a copy of the book, and while I've been swamped, I've only be able to read the first few chapters, but needless to say, it is laugh-out-loud funny. Like, really laugh-out-loud funny. If you've ever wished a few pounds away, dragged your ass to the gym or tried to stuff yourself into skinny jeans, this book is for you. Check out more on Amazon.

2) The Divorce Party by Laura Dave. I'll have more with Laura next week on the blog and full disclaimer, she is a very dear friend of mine, but for a little objectivity, I picked up her first book, London is the Best City in America, before I knew her and absolutely adored it. So I am sooooooo excited for her second book, which explores love and family dynamics when one young couple gets engaged and another couple, set to celebrate their 35th anniversary, throw themselves a divorce party instead. Kate Jacobs and Marisa de los Santos have raved about this book, and did I mention how excited I am to read it and for Laura? She is one of my favorite people - generous and kind and smart and lovely - and she deserves all of her success. Check out more on the book on Amazon. (Oh and yeah, Jennifer Aniston's production company optioned the rights to the movie!)

3) Driving Sideways by Jess Riley. I met Jess through the blogosphere, and we endured the process of getting our debut novels sold and published together. So now I'm thrilled that hers is finally (almost!) here. This one, which follows the journey of Leigh Fielding, a recent recipient of a new kidney, as she treks across the country, sounds tailor-made for bookclubs and beaches reading - the perfect mix of poignant, funny and sharp. Check out more on Amazon.

4) Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp by Stephanie Klein. This one had me at the title...and then at the cover. Oh man, do I love this cover. Some of you might know Stephanie from her put-it-all-out-there blog,

Greek Tragedy, or from her first memoir, Straight Up and Dirty, which chronicled her young marriage and subsequent divorce and how she got her life back together, and she's back this time with a touching, honest and damn funny account of her lifelong struggle with her weight. But this one is more than just about losing a few pounds - I've never been to fat camp and was really sucked in by the writing and just the universal story and struggle for self-acceptance. Buy it for the cover, if nothing else. :) More about it on Amazon here.

5) Frenemies by Alexa Young. This is a must-read if you dig YA or if you have someone running around your house who digs YA. Or who watches Gossip Girl because this is sooo the literary rival to the show...or to the books, if you want to get technical. Frenemies poses that lifelong, philosophical question, "What happens when two besties become full-blown worsties?," and for the answers and all the dish, you'll have to dive into the book. Alexa is a friend of mine, and I can certify her as officially awesome, so I'm sure that you (or your teen) won't be disappointed! More about it on Amazon.

So, go ahead and share, what's on your summer reading list?

So, Where Do I Sign?

Question of the day: I'm finishing up the work on a book and starting to think about looking for an agent and I have some questions. I assume that when you do finally find an agent, you sign some sort of contract with them? What kind of things are in the contract and what kinds of things should not be in the contract? I assume that in this type of situation their is the potential to sign your writing life away (just like with publishers) or am I just being paranoid? Any clarification would be helpful, thanks.

You are not being super-paranoid - this is a great question. Too few writers don't think about the fine print and can end up getting screwed as a result.

Every agent and agency handles contracts differently. Some (I'd venture to say most) agencies do indeed have standard contracts that they'll issue to you once you've been offered (and accepted!) representation. The clauses in the contract may include everything from stuff like the percentage fee that the agent receives to how they deal with foreign and film rights to how you can both remove yourself from the agreement. If you have any doubts about some of these clauses, I do suggest that you hire a lawyer - for one hour's fee, he or she can save you a lot of headache in the future. But basically, you should definitely ensure that you're not granting the rights to your agent for any and all future works and that there are clear terms on how to end the relationship. Agents are going to be inflexible on some things (i.e. their fee, which the industry standard dictates is 15%), but if anything is a real red flag and they won't waver, remember that having shady representation does no one any favors.

That said, there are plenty of agents - good, top agents - who operate with a gentleman's agreement. And this isn't necessarily indicative of whether or not they're legit. If this practice makes you uncomfortable, simply ask your future-agent to put it in writing: it won't be the first time he or she has been asked, trust me, and it shows good business acumen for you, your career, and your future.

So readers, what are some other contract red flags? What else can one expect to see in said paperwork?

And The Winners Are...

So I held the big drawing last night for the I Spy contest! (Okay, so this involved me putting names into a bowl while my son watched Diego and pulling out four names...much less glamorous than it sounds.)

And here are our winners!

1) Jewels

2) Karen Lynch (who went so far as to send me a photo!)

3) Sarah White

4) Krisl

Congrats all! I promise to hold many more future contests as the pub date for Time of My Life approaches, so don't despair if you didn't win - more chances coming up soon. If you're one of the above winners, please email me at allison@allisonwinn.com b/c most of you entered with the blogger no-reply email addy, and I can't write you directly.

And in the meantime, if you're looking for free books, head over to Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell's blog. She's giving away a book a week, per each author whom she interviews. So not only will you get great writing/author info, you might get a freebie! Here's more info:

"I've got a great batch of authors lined up from Jen Miller, author of "The Jersey Shore" this coming Tuesday (5/7); John Grogan, author of the best-selling "Marley and Me" on 5/13 (and yes, he talks a little about the movie which will be released Christmas Day 2008); Lisbeth Levine, author of "The Big Book for Your Big Day" - a wedding book featured in People Magazine last week; and Sean Murphy, "The Time of New Weather" a Taos writer/teacher who won a Hemmingway Award for his first novel and also taught with Natalie Goldberg for a time....and many more!"

Check out Kerri's site here: www.kcwrite4u.blogspot.com and add it to your daily blog check!

GCC Presents: Sara Rosett and Getting Away is Deadly

Winners of the I Spy contest will be posted tomorrow! Yay!

I love the premise of Sara Rosett's new novel, Getting Away is Deadly, for several reasons. One, I'm always up for a good mystery, especially when the heroine is pregnant (LOL!), two) Publishers Weekly calls it "sparkling," which is hardly faint praise, and three) the plot revolves around a murder in which someone is pushed on a subway platform, and as a rider on the NYC subway, I always, always think about this...someone pushing me over the tracks or how easy it would be to kill someone on the spot. (Yes, I'm evidently disturbed. Moving on...)

Anyway, here are some more specifics on Sara's book, and then, she answers my five usual questions for Ask Allison readers!

GETTING AWAY IS DEADLY is the third book in the mom lit mystery series about a military spouse who runs a professional organizing business.

It was the perfect vacation until murder rearranged the itinerary.

With swollen feet, pregnant Ellie joins the nation’s tourists in seeing the sights in Washington D.C. But a fatal incident at the Metro station convinces Ellie that something is rotten in the capital city. Should she do the safe thing and pack her bags? Not likely when too many people are telling lies, hiding secrets, and acting suspiciously. Luckily, Ellie Avery is just the right woman to clean up the most mysterious cases of murder—even if she has to brave the most dangerous byways in the corridors of power . . .

1) What’s the backstory behind your book?
I accompanied my husband, who is military pilot, when he went to Washington D.C. for two training classes and those trips inspired the book. I didn’t witness a fatal accident in a Metro station, but I couldn’t help thinking what dangerous places they were. And then I made the typical mystery writer leap—what if someone fell into the path of an incoming train? It would be a great place for a murder since there aren’t any guardrails to prevent someone from falling into a train’s path.

2) It seems that a lot of readers confuse fiction with real life, assuming that a novel must be an autobiography of the author as well. How many elements of your real life are reflected in your book?
This happens to me all the time! Just because I’m a military spouse and I write about a military spouse, doesn’t mean the book is autobiographical. Of course, I understand how people could make that leap, but I’ve never found a dead body or helped the police solve a crime, so you’d think, it would be pretty obvious that Ellie isn’t me! I use my experiences as a military spouse for background for the book. I’ve written about deployments and what it feels like to move to a new city. In Getting Away, I write about what it’s like to go on a sort-term training assignment with your spouse. He’s focused on work and you’re flitting around the city sight-seeing. It’s a fun experience, but not quite a vacation. I try to include details about being a military spouse and a mom. Real life often inspires some of those tidbits, but the mystery and mayhem is all made up.

3) A lot of my blog readers are aspiring or new authors. How did you land your first book deal?
I always wrote stories as a kid. They were very short, usually about one chapter. I realize now that I didn’t have any plot in those early stories! Anyway, I went to school and got an English degree, then I worked as a reporter at a few Air Force base newspapers and as a writer/researcher for a travel company. All the time I was working at these jobs, I was filing away ideas for stories and reading as much as I could. I finally started writing a draft of what would become the first Mom Zone Mystery, MOVING IS MURDER, about eight years ago. It took me about a year to complete the manuscript. I revised it, entered it in contests to get feedback, and then began querying agents. After a year, I find an agent and then it took her several months to sell my mystery. Kensington Books published MOVING IS MURDER in April 2006.

4) I have a serious procrastination problem when it comes to tackling my fiction. What’s your routine? How do you dive it? Do you have any rituals or necessary to-dos before or while you write?
I began writing during my kid’s naptime, which was wonderful training in getting down to work right away. No time to surf the Net or check email. I had thirty minutes to get some words down on paper and I had to write fast! Now my kids are in school and I can be a little more relaxed. I usually start at the beginning and write all the way through to the end before I go back and do a revisions, but I do look over what I wrote the day before when I first sit down. For some reason, going over what I’ve already written helps me get into it and before I know it I’m into the story again.

5) Clearly, your book will be optioned for a multi-million dollar film deal! Who would you cast as the leads, if you were given creative control?
This is always a bit of a stretch because I don’t think about movie stars as I’m writing, but I’ll give it a shot:
Ellie: Sandra Bullock—she’d be able to pull off the seriousness and the humor.
Mitch (Ellie’s husband): Val Kilmer—loved him in The Saint
Livvy (Ellie’s daughter): don’t know any actor this young—Livvy’s only 20 months old!